Finding myself in a mess,

It seems I couldnt care less.

I keep on messing up more,

Half expecting to find a core.

Some kind of indefinite command

Is using the existence of my hand

To help in sensibility redistributions

 Of heightened or lowered resolutions.

Chartres Astronomical Clock

I am again in this room of wait
For some subtle invitation of fate.
I can only pass time and rest
To prepare for our further quest.
Time is opening another door.
I am now open whatever for.
I trust the guidance I receive
And in its utmost love I believe.

My Declaration of Faith

 

I know that the entity that is named God (in English) exists.

I believe that it is actually Mr&Mrs God. It is complicated.

It contains many of the prerequisites commonly ascribed to it.

It has imbued me with thoughts and feelings that guide me.

It also makes adjustments in my surroundings to enhance the messages that can be either joyous or terrifying.

I believe that it has been preparing me for this time all my life.

I have my cultural and historical faith in the Catholic Church.

I believe in truths inherent in many religions.

I wish to help in finding and spreading the Love of God.

I KNOW that God exists and has had it proven to me with inexplicable methods.

God helps me and challenges me as parents towards a child.

I can choose if I receive Gods aid and challenges.

God is preparing the children for adulthood.

Parents and children learn from each other as long as they are in contact and sometimes afterwards.

It is a personal relationship but I know that so many others have similar experiences.

I want to take part in the communities that exist.

I want to be able to contribute to the further development of our describable experiences so that we understand them better.

Ive known it a long time somehow

What is about to be revealed now.

Im prepared in every possible way

And will probably know what to say.

So now let it become real

If that is how you feel.

Sun sound cluster

Sun,

Is there something you are trying to say
That I am incapable of hearing any way?
Encircled by colours as seen by me,
You are as enigmatic as one can be.

When I see you dance around like this
I imagine giving you an admiring kiss
To show you that I am adoring you
And trying so to grasp what you do.

Whenever I look at your shine,
Part of it is undoubtably mine.
If I receive anything from you quite right,
The delivery of love shines overly bright.

Are you receiving some entities I reflect to you?
Do my thoughts and feelings give you a clue
That I love you, too?

Brain neuron

Complex signals trouble my consciousness.
I wish they were not such a streaming mess.
Some messages feel important to get right
Though they demand more than my might.

Some ring so beautifully that they sound true
But most I cannot decipher and I have no clue.
My attention scans signals in an erratic way
And this attention itself has so much to say.

All input that I gather seem relayed from inside
Although stemming from the other being guide.
More or less loosely gathered entities like me
Are placed in as various perspectives as can be.

A message formerly received loud and clear
Can then turn out wrong and nowhere near.
Abundant signals are pressing to take charge
In infinite layers, miniscule and large.

Inputs and outputs cross without interludes
A transformer of different magnitudes.

Im extending a plea

That you make me see

Whatever you can be.

Are you he and me and we?

Would that make us three?

Just guessing – Gee.

Are you here again, beautiful notions,

To set my thoughts in powerful motions?

I marvel at what these movements bring;

Again they change my view of everything.

What mighty force is doing this to me?

Some kind of love, as far as I can see.

What is the purpose of this source?

Is it once more altering the course?

Does the direction spiral once more;

Around an almost nonsensed core?

Although I am never able to be sure,

Once more I feel guided by its lure.

Does life exist in being intervallic

between that which seems metallic?

I am forsaken with the contact lost

That must be regained at all cost.

This light shows only chaos and pain,

And everything seems to be in vain.

I need to be given the connection back

That spreads the warmer lights I lack.

Relieving my fear of any impending doom,

It shows a world of thoughts in bloom,

Crossed with wild notions for then to seed,

Since some hardier plants is what I need.

I do not know how the contact appears

And this waiting brings me rage and tears.

I have many lessons to learn, I know,

before my thoughts are able to grow.

MANDEL.ZOOM14.SATELLITE.JULIA.ISLAND

Our heart will lead the way.

Then our brains will have their say.

I am sulking, this I know.

I cannot seem to grow.

I am still a spoilt child,

(That is to put it mild.)

I crave and get so much,

Loving attention and such.

Having reached farther than my dreams.

This might be it, or so it seems.

Though I can never be quite sure

Of what will hold the next allure.

It will have to do with love

And be outsourced from up above.

If celebrations are postponed once more,

My eyes will certainly be sore.

How can I help the human race

If we only try to save our face?

We cannot own up to all our sins,

But know that love always wins.

EMBEDDED.JULIA

Once again I am at a loss,

No longer reaching across.

I remain on the mountain top,
anticipating the fuller stop.

I will soon climb back down,

undoubtedly wearing a frown.

Have I not tried my best?

Others must care for the rest.

A Spurious Emission

Doubt that all my interpretations are sane,

But I will go on trying over and over again.

From what I think that I have understood,

I feel my wordings to be reasonably good.

Messages received from an unknown place,

Intended to leave a most significant trace.

I think that I am talking to you,

Right now, out of the blue.

I wonder if you get my drift.

Who is offering who some gift?

This gift, that we utmostly long for,

will sparkle forever yet once more.

It seems to be a gift still unwrapped

And with a future largely unmapped.

I believe myself into talking with you –

I hope it into being increasingly true –

I love it into what this can really do –

That will be something utterly new –

Once more it now changes my view.

Minster Lovell Dovecote

I speak strange gibberish to you,

Not knowing what good it can do.

This talk resembles a magical spell,

But how it might work I cannot tell.

I hope that it will give some clue;

That something reaches through,

Of what your being means to me

And how crucial you come to be.

Show me again, I beg you please,

So I can proceed with greater ease

And discern my viewpoints as I go,

To heartily head for smoother flow.

Seed vials at the Svalbard Global Seed Vault

I try to bear witness of me

Though myself is hard to see.

It is something else inside

From which I no longer hide.

What am I a witness of?

Is it some manifest love?

I try in vain to see the truly you,

Watching surroundings is all I do.

To know of you is an utmost blessing,

But as a witness I am only guessing.

So what is there to preach about?

Something unknowable no doubt.

Sometimes, infinitely near, 

Words continue to appear

That might have been sown,

Somehow, by this dear unknown.

Do seeds grow in earth like me,

The witness of which I will be?

A sketch by Isaac Newton of one of his prism experiments

Through Life inexplicable as ours

And changing conditions all hours,

Am I a receiver of mysterious rays,

That I do not know how to appraise?

Sun rays that are streaming in me,

What are they intended to be?

Forces of Love transformed into life,

Sensing its way in constant strife,

Balancing, on an edge so brittle,

Between too much and too little?

Is Sun streaming an urgent call?

Is Love in us learning to crawl?

I turn these pages to and fro.

To stay with one I cannot do.

They turn with an increasing ease

and almost whenever I please.

If they are turned very quick,

will they turn hazy purple and 

make me sick?

Rehearsals are increasing with speed.

I wonder where these plays will lead.

Retakes might be here, still unknown.

Intending to bring What to the throne.

Each time I believe it is now for real

and not merely something only I feel.

At times I am weary of playing my part,

but I am obliged to follow my heart.

So what do the other enactors think?

All our different stories had to cog into place
for all the wheels to pick up a suitable pace.
At last we are now reaching the phase
When we can see true love in its face.

Miniature vases seem way too small
For flowers that are still growing tall
From trembling hands I see them fall

Still they serve us to the present call
To the unknown attention not to stall
In pursuing this wavering path of All

§5  The superior adviser is in the heart.
You must risk positions to even start,
and then lose some reputation
to help much more than a nation.
Please be braver than you think
and change the world in a blink.

§1  Be even cooler!
Let Hillary/Barack be the ruler;
together hand in hand
and lead us to the promised land.
Oops, I forgot about John McCain,
he should join and we will all gain.

§2  Now Obama did win
and wisely let the others in.
Trying to see everyone's view
must be the way to start anew.
This can be the right ground
to reach decisions that are sound.

§3  Gloves and mittens fill the bag
that has an overwhelming tag:
For every cold hand
in every single land

§4  There is a louder ticking of clocks
 and another bag fills with socks.
For those who leave with cold feet,
so all might find the heart to meet.

Letters and parcels received or dispatched,
with admirable feelings and stamps attached,
are sent through mailboxes in strange places
as part of the mysteries; and, in some cases,
their intricate transports leave fascinating traces.

Showing love to someone dear
I hold my attention very near
and listen closely to what I hear.

So I inquire if words are unclear
or might not be as they appear.
My questions mean to be sincere
and are not grounded by any fear.

In the same way I lend my ear
to my own heart deep in here.

These duties may seem severe
but are the ones I most revere.

(Prayer)

I cherish the image of my background
filled with knowledge that I have found.
It contains an infinite amount of detail
that changes depending on the scale.

But now the foreground I want to see
and where the focal point might be.
Sometimes I detect its traces so near
and marvel when incredibles appear.

Though my brain is wonderfully smart
I have to confirm my ways with my heart
for I will otherwise be lost again
whatever results I preordain.

She mourned possibilities so rare,
so subtle that no one could care.
She now entered a restricted maze
and those gifts are forgotten in haze.

She then absorbs so much fright
that she will mostly lose sight
of how to make things right.

She will experience much pain
but if obstacles shatter her brain
she might get another start,
one that emanates from her heart.

Will she then soar slightly above
and call directions out of love?

January 2016
Looking at it anew
I realize another clue
that lessens my sorrow
as I continue to follow
that which my heart contains
and the love that reins.

All born to be each others servant
I try to be increasingly observant
of what’s most significant at heart
and then just strive to do my part.

General McChrystal, I admire you so
and I’m sorry you were told to go.
I like President Obama too for sure
and now I wish you both a cure.

Gathering all amulets I can see
to empower the most important key;
a rusty key to open everyone’s heart.
Maybe now we just have to start.

Eight hands on a table
to show that we are able
to change some poor decisions
and embark on nobler missions.

The Wheels Are Spinning

Painting by Chuck Connelly 

At times these notions seem all untrue

and merely taken out of the blue.

Strange beliefs that no one could explain.

Now perhaps only miracles remain.

A spiral galaxy is slowly spinning in my head.
Maybe it guides me on this unknown path I tread.
I'm reminded of impulsions that I’ve felt before,
only now I don’t want to resist them anymore.

The Pinwheel Galaxy Messier 101

Credit: Scott Anttila

To give or take

for goodness sake

diminishes the distance

that haunts our existence.

For Daniel

 

I miss you so
and I want you to go
into an unheard of dimension
to meet me beyond comprehension.

Or is it I who must go
in order to find a way to know
if we can ever again embrace
anywhere in this maze?

Do you exist outside us living
and are you capable of giving
some signs of your being
that I’m not yet seeing?
Am I not attentive enough
and busy with mundane stuff?

My heart and mind have been
capable of much unforeseen
and now I urge them to proceed
in order to find what we need
to encounter a real solution
for continuing this evolution.

Sometimes going in and out of sleep
I reach spaces that are deep
but even these regions won’t do
and I’m left without a clue.

Hearing a lone ambulance in the distance
I go down to feed the fire of this existence.
Please give me your assistance.
I’m increasing my persistence.

Dogs are now barking.

A gang of fears tormented my mind,
Real fears of an invading kind.
I dug myself a secret cavity
To hid in with utmost gravity.
But now is the time to fly
And not come back until I die.

Coming of age Ive changed place
and am protected well in every space.